Co-blogger Jade tweeted a Dear Abby-like interaction on ‘The Friendship Blog’, wherein a woman is concerned her friend is using her. As I read the woman’s letter, I felt for her. She is clearly right and her friend is taking complete advantage of her. I was sure that the writer she was addressing would give her sound advice on the matter. I was astonished to see that the writer’s response, within the first few sentences, said that it was just as much her fault as it was her friend’s. And so I want to take this as an opportunity to talk about victim-blaming and toxic friendships.
Sometimes friendships are just bad. One person is taking advantage of the other, or abusing them in some way. And the victim often feels they deserve (as victims of abuse often do) or that they have to put up with it as ‘that’s what friends do’. But it’s important to know that it is entirely okay to distance yourself from someone who is having a toxic effect on your life! If someone makes you feel bad or uses you or manipulates you, you are under no obligation to stay friends with them!
And for those of you on the outside looking in on these relationships, you may sometimes think ‘why does she put up with that’ or ‘well it’s her fault’. That is victim-blaming. As stated, people in abusive relationships often do not realize they are. Or if they do, they don’t know how to escape it or think that they aren’t allowed to.
Just some food for thought, really. I just thought I’d speak out on another personal subject.
Bloggin' with Friends 
I had experience with something like this first hand about a year ago and I definitely can see where the author of the article was coming from. For about a year and a half I was best friends with someone who in the end just used me for when she did not have her real friends by her side. Me, being the nice person that I am did not think of it that way. I just saw a person I cared about in trouble and needing me so I was by her side. Luckily after 2 huge blow outs I realized that I did not need that kind of person in my life and I finally stood up for myself and really believe that I am so much better and stronger for it! DON’T BE AFRAID TO CUT TIES WITH TOXIC PEOPLE!!!!